World Will Drown

It's Beginning to Look a lot like Gas-mas!

Session 8: Gas
It’s Beginning to Look a lot like Gas-mas!

Who can stop my meteoric rise? My successes seem to be limitless. Even my followers seem to be recognizing it now, and letting go of all doubt. Who nailed the cute fox chick? Gas. Who was adamant that we kill the dragon? Gas. Who walked away unscathed? Gas. Who drained the beast of it’s noble blood? Gas. The Age of Gas has come, and may the masses carry Gas on their lips.

After reaching port, we sought to have our ships repaired, and our treasure maps deciphered, as well as quickly learning that there was a hefty reward for the killing of the firey douche. However, we also learned that the ship we sailed on, was also stolen. Time will tell how much more trouble than he is worth, our captain will turn out to be.

A small amount of drinking later, I found myself in the bed of the foxiest lass this side of the poop deck. Checking that one off the to-do list. Now if only the worlds most hypocritical whore will accept some easy coin I can cross off another. However, judging by the rapey attitude of our other companion, he may not even offer her the fair compensation. I can’t help but admire the insatiability of my orcish friend. His thirst for drink and women would make for a decent client, but he’s more useful as the friendly strong man to me.

The following morning, we set off to look into the nearby location of a potential treasure. As we walked the creepy one tried to make claims of being the alpha male, and I demanded he challenge me, but like the coward he clearly is, he claimed he needn’t prove it.

Upon reaching the location, after the wanna-be alpha male’s absolute disaster of an attempt to lead us, and losing our way for 5 hours, we arrived at our location. It was made quickly apparent that the treasure was guarded by a young dragon, and ever the cowards, my compatriots made a hasty retreat. Only after chastising their weakness and seizing the opportunity for my leadership to guide them, I quickly formulated a plan which involved luring the beast into a trap. As the bravest and most brilliant of the crew, I volunteered to lure the beast with my sharp tongue, and after being set upon by the party, we made short work of it. Hmpf. Some alpha male.

Not losing any time, I quickly filled 12 vials with the beast’s blood, and saved the carcass for later in my bag of holding. Hopefully I’ll be able to drain it of more later, and use the beast to create some of my more impressive concoctions.

But for now we must sleep. My minions need me to be well rested to lead them tomorrow.

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Flames Extinguished

Session 7: Kulrosh

While discussing our plans for the battle ahead, it became clear we needed to designate a sort of “secondary” crew to take charge of our vessel during combative encounters, so that the Captain could take a far more useful role helping us take hold of any enemy ships. We managed to round up a few scallywags to take charge when necessary. Let’s just hope they’re worth their salt.

Our day proceeded on as usual on board. Save for when that half-breed elf managed to pull some Sea Monster on deck….I still can’t get the smell out of my clothes. I tried to see if Valara garnered any information from her client the night before, but she rebuffed me with disgust. Bitch thinks I get my jollies off thinking about her sexual escapades, not even my type. Strange how hard it is to get her to open up about herself, considering how easy it is to get her legs to spread.

Had a brief bonding moment with that son-of-a-biscuit-eater Gas, we seem to have similar tastes in women. Bastard thinks he can keep the Kitsune to himself…..we’ll see about that. My thoughts briefly lead me to think about the Regina woman I met several days prior, she had curves in all the right places, some meat on her bones that you could hold onto….might be worth looking into the job she offered me, see if we can’t track down this ‘Daniel Bloodhand’. I don’t typically go for human women, far too fragile, pelvises break far more easily than say a dwarf or orc-blooded women.

It wasn’t long before we got sight of our quarry on the horizon, flaming sails and all. With expert maneuvering we once again flanked and boarded the ship. The rest was easy.

After Ronald’s head was cleanly severed from his body, we began our work. I made haste below deck to free any slaves I could find. I’ll not suffer to see men in shackles forced upon them. The ship itself is well equipped apart from crew, a fair amount of balistae were attached, and apart from some minor scratches sustained in the battle as well as blood-stains, it’s in perfect condition.

My Blood-lust has been sated for the day, now to drink till I’m three sheets to the wind, and find some pleasurable company for the night.

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A Perilous Visit

Session 6: Omar

I couldn’t wait to get out of Port Peril. As soon as Prosperity set sail I let out a sigh of relief. The breeze around the ocean felt refreshing to me. I had never been on any long journey before. I was quite excited to explore the vast sea of the shackles. As we were sailing, I took my time to make some scrolls for future use.
I was a little new to this scroll making and one of my scrolls went crazy on me and was cast on Valara, whom just happened to be walking near me. She gave me the look of a crazed killer. I assumed out of a sudden reaction she would have struck at me, but it seems that she had more restraint than I gave her credit for.
She spoke to Noatak for a moment, and Noatak seemed a bit on edge. I’m glad Noatak had enough restraint not to attack one of our own. Perhaps I have made him too aggressive of late. No, no, what am I saying? I love how he wants to kill things. It soothes me.
A few days went by after we got past some different islands. We eventually made it to a place called Drenchport. We got off to find a place to stay for the night and not only that, but to make some plans. Kulrosh, Gas, Valara, and I followed Todrin to the Drowned Dwarf. The four went to a booth to order some drinks.
I was about to join them, but soon remembered about a man called the Master of the Gales, whom was supposed to be quite inclined with nature. I became curious of his whereabouts and decided to ask someone. This placed did not look the friendliest, so I prepared to speak with caution.
I spoke with a man by the name of White Hollis Dobilo. I asked him if he knew about anyone by that name. He said he did, and got curious as to why I want to know. I told him I am acquainted with nature much like he is. He told me he may have some information on him, but asked for something in return. He wanted to know more about nature and the strange powers I possess.
I gave him a very broad and meticulous answer: I told him to let go of who he is and to not act separate among the natural world. This guy acted as if I was blowing smoke up his ass. I was not sure what else to tell him; if I gave him too much information I may have disrupted the natural balance within myself.
This man soon became quite indifferent with my presence, because I had nothing to offer him. I really do want to know where the Master of the Gales is; so I asked if I could keep in touch with him in case I find something of worthy value for the knowledge of the master’s whereabouts.
Anyway, after that I went over to Todrin and the others. Gas went over to White right after I left. I can only imagine what he was about to discuss with him…
Later, a man was screaming for his daughter. He kept panicking that his daughter was kidnapped by a person in blue robes. I followed everyone outside to look for the tracks. I was saw the tracks right away, and followed them in a hurry. No one understood why I was so quick to act, but it is quite simple: a lion does not give his opponent time to escape. The father was an idiot. I was determined to chase these people down not to save the daughter, but for the blood of the hunt. I do expect the others to understand that, of course.
We made it to a run-down shed. As we went in we all saw a girl tied to an iron weight, about to be dropped down into water. We managed to kill them and prevent the girl from drowning. Drowning? Wait. Something seemed familiar. It made me think of what I heard in Port Peril about people drowning. Whatever this is, it must be some sort of cult. We saw the insignia of an eye, but I could not decipher what it meant. The girl was hurt, and Valara gave me this worried mother look. I reluctantly used one of my scrolls to heal the girl. What a waste.
We went back to the inn and the daughter and father were reunited. After I learned that the man was blaming the Master of the Gales for what happened, my blood began to rise. I tried to convince him otherwise, but he grew angry with me. The others seemed annoyed with the way I was disrupting the daughter and father reunion, so I just let it go.
I knew there was a church of Gozreh in town, so I decided to go there with Noatak for the night. It was nice to just get away from everyone for a while and be with my own kind. We danced and sung among the beauty of the night sky. I joined them in their prayer to Gozreh. I have never felt so comfortable in a long time.
I woke up and thanked the head of the church. I also asked him about the Master of the Gales, and he mentioned that he used to come to the church, but not of late.
I found the others on the streets looking at ballistae. I did not know much about these things, but I did have some gold to spare, and it sounded like they will be useful for upcoming battles. A part of me looked back at the church of Gozreh and wanted to stay, but I can’t help but feel that…the ocean was calling for me.

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Here We Go Again...

Session 5: Valara

Good morning Port Peril with your pirates, whores, murderers and bells of impending doom. It’s always nice to wake up after a long day to the sounds of a city under attack. Oh well. What are you going to expect in a society run by pirates? Anyhow, I packed up my things and went downstairs. One of the priests said that the city was under attack by Kuru. She said it was too dangerous for me to go outside. Right, buddy. Whatever helps you sleep at night. So out the window I went to the Drunken Monkey to find the boys.

I managed to find the boys without incident, but of course they had gotten themselves into a fight with seven Kuru. Figures. When I arrived, Kulrosh and Omar were already down, while some random guy was fighting with Gas. Does it seem strange to anyone else that the goblin is the one who always seems to live the longest? At some point, I was up against one of the nasty cannibals and went down. Obviously I don’t remember much after that.

I woke up to Todrin shaking me. Wait a second. Where the hell was he? Anyhow, after we had all recovered slightly and looted the bodies, Todrin informed us that he had recovered his ship. Conveniently, it was ready to go right away and did not need any preparations even though it had been sitting idle for 6 years. Todrin also spoke to Sea-Bass Obi-Wan, or whatever his name is, and told us that the reward for stopping the conflict between Wide Olga and Havalas Grudd was ready for us. Well that’s good news, I guess.

So now we had a ship, but we still needed a crew. Everyone split up, Omar to go skulk around somewhere, Gas and Kulrosh to the Jumping Monkey (No surprise there), and Todrin and I to the Drunken Monkey. While he talked to some guy named Tim, I ended up recruiting a half-orc named Clark. A little while later, Gas and Kulrosh returned not with drugs, but with a cleric named Gladeus. They said they found him at a “church,” but considering that the last place I saw them go was the Jumping Monkey, I am not sure I want to know where he actually came from.

After that we all split up once again. This time, Omar and Todrin went one way while Kulrosh, Gas, and I headed back to the House of Calistria where I stayed last night. As we started walking, Gas hatched some ridiculous plan to have thieves steal in order to be on the crew…Yeah. No. So he went off to work on that and Kulrosh and I went to the church, I found out which clients were interested, and we then continued on to find a crew. After we talked to a few individuals, we all met south of Fort Hazard with the ship. Without a second thought, we fetched our reward and then left the port while the bells rang and more bodies floated around the city.

No longer were we headed to Quent, but Todrin informed us that we instead were immediately headed North to take out a Cheliax captain named Ronald Flamesail. Well, so it would appear that not only am I allowed to do my job, but we are not going to the House. All I can this had better be worth it, or I am leaving the very first chance I get.

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Things Are Looking Up

Session 4: Gas Madgut

Things are looking up.

A few days ago I was chained to a pole, and now… Well things are looking up.

We set sail for the pirate capital, and after setting up my lab in the hold, I did a bit of snooping. Things went from good to better. I emptied my pack and proceded to carry 10 pounds of the raw flayleaf I found in an unmarked crate to the deck, swapping packs with my massive friend. Upon arriving in town, and after inquiring as to the location of our friend’s ship, we made our way to the merchant area. I put a small fortune into a bag of holding, but when you’re holding, it’s the safest way to manage. All ten pounds and my possessions tucked away, we made our way to the Drunken Monkey, and more importantly, the Jumping Monkey. The whore didn’t join us, and as curious as I was to know what she does when she runs off, perhaps if I play my cards right, and lay my gold right, I’ll find out.

I’m quickly noticing that I’m clearly the smartest one of the group, which explains why they all see me as the natural leader. Except the strange one who loves nature, but fears my herbal remedies, but he’ll come around. As the leader of this ragtag group, it seems to be up to me to make the coin, and my stop in the Jumping Monkey will set me on that path. I dumped a large pile of gold on an assortment of different delights, but if I can reverse engineer them, I’ll be sailing high as a premier supplier of narcotics within a few months.

That is, if I don’t get myself killed first.
I shouldn’t have stuck my neck out, but my orcish companion has stuck by me several times already, and I’ll be damned if I don’t do my part. It was all for naught, but at least I remained standing tall.

A sack of gold, a pile of tasty intoxicants, and a merry band of loyal minions. Yes indeed, things are looking up for ol’ Gas.

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Sailing for Adventure

Session 3: Kulrosh

After regrouping at the inn, it seemed prudent to side wide Havalas Grudd in the town’s conflict. Given our little incident at the docks, negotiations with Wide Olga were no longer an option. After performing some menial tasks for the whelp we set sail to battle wide Olga and her ilk.

She assumed her plan to fire canon at Grudd’s fortress was still a secret. Little did she know that she was walking right into a trap. Todrin moved our ship to flank the Beckoning Nereid with expert precision. We boarded her and slaughtered all crew that stood in our way, making our way to the fat bitch Olga herself., it was all too easy.

Afterwards we boarded onto Grudd’s ship, Scylla, and set sail for Parlay Point. We passed by the Devil’s Arches and through the Straights of Barthas, and brought our ship right into a sand barge. While the crew toiled and tugged to render the boat free, it seemed an opportune moment to drink our fill….I don’t remember much of that night.

The next morning as I awoke on deck brought me a no different view; the crew continued to struggle pulling the ship free until the captain finally relented and gave them a reprieve. It wasn’t long before we were “rescued” by a ship sailing under the flag of the shackles, captained by some fucker named Talrock who would gladly provide assistance if they could garner some small token of appreciation from us…..asshole.

I spent most of the day playing babysitter to the little goblin Gas. No telling what trouble that little bastard would get into if left to his own devices….I better get paid well for this.

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Idiotic Tensions

Session 2: Omar

I observed my natural surroundings as I awoke. Before me I saw the leaf-huffing Goblin, the Half-breeded Orc, and the…whatever the hell she is. I was starting to wonder how natural these surroundings were.
On our way to Parley Point, Todrin told us about a feud going on between a couple at war over the entire city of Oyster Cay. A reward was to be offered to those can solve this feud. I honestly could care less, and would rather let nature take its course. Despite this, they decided to go there.
When we made it to the city, everyone’s first thought was, “Let’s go get a drink!” That was to be well-assumed with the stupid nature of man, and no less could have been predicted. I decided to just go hang out with them at the bar, though I had something more important on my agenda.
Surprisingly I was isolated faster than I expected. Valara went…somewhere, while Gas went right into his plant-huffing business with some stupid halflings…while Kulrosh was…well I didn’t pay attention to him. The only one I saw was Todrin, so I sat down by him at the bar.
He offered me some beer. I told him that what he offered me was nature’s poison, but he insisted that it was delight. I found his offer somewhat compelling for an unknown reason. I sat down and drank the beer.
It tasted awful. I found no pleasure from this self-indulging intoxication. It wasn’t until I drank half the beer down that I realized… this was what my father used to give me. The taste brought about memories of me being aboard his rotten sailboat, offering alcohol to his five year old son while dealing drugs along the coast of Shark Island. He said he didn’t have much for milk, so told me alcohol was a man’s milk. Yea…what a childhood.
Anyway, after the one drink I felt a little sickened. Not physically, but I felt like something out of the past haunted me all of the sudden. I just needed to leave for a while.
I went out by Noatak to check on him. He was toying with a dead rat. I played fetch with him and he responded correctly.
About a half hour passed and I saw the others walking out, heading somewhere. My curious nature overcame me, and I wanted to see what they were up to.
As it turned out, they decided to get in on this pathetic feud. I didn’t really care, but I figured it was something to do. Valara went into the Havalas territory, while the three of us decided to try and do something about Wide Olga.
Once we got into her territory, I assumed the other two already planned something out in the bar. It would seem I was quite wrong. These two had no idea what to do. Gas went off somewhere on his own, while Kulrosh and I went into the Clashing Clam.
Gas came back later, and told us of gun powder and supplies in a building that we could blow up to distract guards so we could get onto Olga’s ship. Out of normality I don’t take the word of such a low stature creature such as a goblin, but this one seems as if it has the capacity to go beyond its relatives. Kulrosh and I went along with his plan.
Blowing up the building worked surprisingly well. We ran to the ship and tried to find Olga. We ran into two guards. This was one hell of a fight. Kulrosh and I became unconscious, and were almost killed if not for the goblin’s help and Noatak’s protection. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I may have some respect for that Goblin. For one he is a freak of nature like myself, and he uses the cruelty of nature to further his needs. He may not know it, but I believe he and I will get along quite well in the near future.
Shortly after he awoke me, the disgusting pig Olga came out with some drums on her. She told us that we better start running. At first we did not catch her drift, but as she beat on her clunky drums, her guards charged after us and we had to make a run for it.
We got out thankfully, and regrouped with Valara at the inn. After we explained, she got pissed off at us. Perhaps the plan should have been discussed in more detail. We all gathered and came to a realization that we were full-out enemies of Olga, so siding with Havalas was going to be the choice.
I honestly know very little about these people I have recently met. But I feel…a certain interest about them. I can’t quite pick it out, but I almost feel as if their lives are related to mine somehow. I suppose I will just let nature take its course.

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Three Freaks and a Whore

Session 1: Valara

Well. This is new. I must say, I’ve been tied up plenty of times, though waking up to it without remembering what happened beforehand is new. Also, being tied to a pole with a goblin, a half-orc, and a half-elf, all of which are men has certainly never happened before. Yup, definitely new. Looking around to discover that we were not the only ones tied up, and that we were in fact surrounded by tribal looking humans and halflings, all tied up in a similar manner (also, there is a dinosaur here. Not sure how that happened), and taking in the surroundings led to a somewhat disconcerting conclusion: Neruma, the slave trading capitol of the country. And to make things better, my tattoo was glowing. Yeah. This is definitely not good.

My new “companions” all seem to have their own way of handling things: The little goblin, “Gas” as he calls himself, antagonizes the guards and makes it a point of threatening and mocking them. Funny, but it may very well get him, and by association, me, into trouble. The half-orc, Kulrosh, decided to try and break the chains. How did that work out for you, big guy? Break a nail while you’re at it? And then there is Omar the Creep. For someone who has probably never used his dick, he sure can act like one. Conclusion: 2, 6, just not there.

The locals were harder to get to than I thought. It didn’t help that Gas had to run his mouth every time that I tried to get myself out of here. Though, as a small consolation, I was definitely the most expensive thing (because of the dinosaur) there. However, 1000 gold? Really? I could make that much in a week. The fact that everyone else was between 200 or 500 showed that they could at least somewhat recognize quality. The visit from Todrin was interesting: lizardfolk attacking the city that night? Sounds exciting. However, I really did not want to still be chained to a pole when they did. I tried sweet-talking the human (looks like a pirate) into doing a girl a favor, but the nasty crypt-keeper of a woman, Cousotta was somewhat less than helpful. None of us were able to get Todrin to purchase us, even though he said that they didn’t have enough people to defend the city. Foreshadowing anyone?

Hours passed, it was hot, dirty, and nobody would take the bait. So what if I was just going to let them purchase me and then kill them a few hours later? I did not want to stay in the kill zone that would be the slave pit. Night fell, and so did the rain. After hearing the sounds of fighting, we saw people killed, including One-Legged Bill, number 2 on Gas’s kill list. Sorry, little guy. Better luck next time. When snake-face decided that he wanted to go for us next, it was Todrin who popped out of nowhere, and helped us all get free. After killing lizard #1 we freed the rest of the slaves and ran like hell out of the city. So the random dinosaur belongs to Omar the Creep. Figures. We made it out of the city with Todrin, though not before we had to take out lizards #2 and 3. Went running for a while, found some ruins to shelter us for the night, and Gas appears to be a minor drug addict, fabulous. Well, that was exciting. I just need to get back to Quent. Todrin says that the closest city that would give us any chance of making it back to our lives is Parley Point, 3 days away. Great.

The next morning, Todrin handed out breakfast and we were on our way. Before going, I made sure to change out of my slave rags and into some actual clothes. The boys seemed unamused, but hey, if you want to get a ride, it’s not going to happen if you have a girl in rags. As we were walking, Todrin offered us all positions in his crew: Kulrosh as a crew member, Gas as a bomber (big surprise), and Creepy as well… a creep. As for myself, he offered the job of being the ship’s personal whore. Spend an undefined amount of time on the same ship with the same crew, service them whenever they find it convenient, and be treated like a toy to be played with and then thrown out later. Tempting. Very tempting. Or, I could return to the comfortable House of Stolen Kisses, have a say which clients I take, travel to the fanciest parties and galas, charge my own prices, and be treated like queen. Hmmm… I wonder which option I’ll choose.

As we were walking down the road, we passed by a half-orc, a dwarf, and a Halfling. As they eyed us, I could quickly tell that they had every intention of robbing us. Yeah. Good luck boys. After what seemed much more difficult than it should have been, we were able to drop all three of them. Not before Kulrosh was nearly taken out, and I wasn’t feeling so hot myself. Luckily, they had some potions to take care of that, as well as some gold and items to be divvied out. After all that excitement, it was time for a rest.

While my newest companions have little to no tact, they have begun to grow on me. I will not lie and say that Gas and Kulrosh are not entertaining, but being so blatantly asked what my rates are is not how I am used to being treated. These next few days could be very interesting to say the least…

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